While it is not your partner’s responsibility to fulfill your needs what happens is often those choosing to be in a relationship share in similar needs, values and desires in life. By sharing the same values and aspirations, we naturally meet in our shared yes versus doing what so often happens such as being accommodating and overriding our own needs.
However, there will be times when partners have different wants, capacity, and needs. In these moments it is vital not to overlook the importance of all parties needs. What you desire is valuable as is what your partner’s needs are. The challenge at times is accepting that your partner may not be able to meet them all of the time or all of them.
In such moments, I value sitting back and celebrating my partner’s desires and needs while affirming how much I champion their needs being met. I am also sure to be compassionately honest that I don’t have the capacity to be a part of fulfilling these particular needs.
I like to hold an invitation in my heart for myself and my partner to be curious and together explore how to self source and fulfill our own needs without stating either one of us is in the wrong for taking care of ourselves by saying no.
One of the greatest moments is when I wholeheartedly say “Thank you for taking care of yourself,” especially when my partner is saying no to my request.
Through this shared exchange while at first there may be a disappointment in not sharing something or having a need met from a loved one, there is intimacy and connection because we are igniting our creativity and acknowledging the importance of everyone’s needs and feelings which are present.
Just because I am unable to meet a partners needs, or have different needs does not mean their needs are unimportant.
If you, or someone you know, are frustrated with your relationship choices, feeling passionless in your sex life, or it just seems the more you want to communicate the worse things get, then reach out to me for a 1-on-1 soul discovery call.