10406427_10102386339159000_1410256625836713389_nI was having a conversation with a friend the other day about relationships. He was sharing about how relationships are so challenging and such work. I understood his perspective. I began to explain how many of us after the excitement of a new relationship starts to fade, the really juicy shadowy pieces come up. Our little girl and little boy , all the conditionings from upbringing and family start to surface. I know I sit back and can clearly see when my little girl wants things a certain way. I know when old emotions of feeling scared with old abandonment feelings are triggered can feel very uncomfortable. As well, sometimes we get so taken by them it can be challenging to know what is real right now verses is this my little boy/girl. This can be painful especially when the people relating do not understand this, they don’t have the skills or awareness to move beyond this or realize there is another way. 
 
Relationship to me is one of the highest forms of spiritual practices. When we allow this container called relationship to  be our teacher we have the ability to create such profound change and expansive growth in our being in the world. When we move beyond what we call New relationship energy, the high of the chemicals in the body and of a new love which we were so lost in for the first year, we now move into the deep stages of Sacred Partnership. 

 

If our eyes and hearts are open enough we are now sharing our path with another or others in a way that we meet in the middle. It becomes about how our own unique self can meet your own unique self. Together each day we evolve in our understanding of each other and new understanding of ourselves. When the container is healthy with self responsible , emotionally mature people our shadow has a place to rise up, be witnessed and to be grounds for such deep transformation, insight. Those places that most run from in relationship, the ebbs and flows, ups and downs now become our teacher.
How open do we choose to be in our personal evolution? Are we able to acknowledge our shadow, our little girl or boy that through old conditions comes out in our adult relationship. Are we able to look at ourselves in moment of trigger and say what is this showing me about myself. Might we shift judgement of another to curiosity. When we are upset or in disagreement in our relationships it does not mean the relationship is over. I see it as an opportunity to say, share more please, I desire to learn and understand you so I may understand myself more.
 
In this stage of relating we get to tune into our own passion, creativity and joy. As it is no one else’s job to give this to us. From this place we get to create fun dates, ways of sharing what is exciting for us . Even sexually we can talk about what turns us on, create date nights that include sexual exploration and things we love. Rather than getting caught up in “the other person should know or they should do this”. 
 
 Relationships no longer becomes about “You complete me or that white picket fence”, yet now holds a quality of how can we together walk empowered in who we are, how may I evolve to live clearer, more centered, aware and how can we allow this love of relating to influence the greater good in the world. 

 – Tziporah

Love and Intimacy Mentor

Integrative Breath Work Specialist

Discover the Keys to Creating a Life That Meets Your Emotional, Sexual and Spiritual Needs